Being imitated and the target of projection

For most of the year, I've had to deal with being projected onto and imitated - a consequence from something I went through earlier the year. Maybe another time i'll share that unfortunate story and what I experienced. However, no promises - although it is an intriguing and crazy story to tell, I prefer to focus on the present and the future.

What is Imitation?

Imitation - a thing intended to simulate or copy something else

Knock off - something that tries to be like something it isn't

I've had a lot of people copy me in my lifetime (as I'm sure many other people have too). When I was young, and in high school it was pretty annoying because I've always tried to be individual and be proud of it. I never liked the idea of being the same as everyone else - despite the pressure to 'fit in' during high school. As I get older though, I mostly find it complimentary - especially if it's friends for example, that like an outfit I have, or a song that I listen to a lot. I encourage it really, I don't mind if they also like or enjoy something I do, and they found it through me. And I guess it makes common ground in a way. Plus it's kind of flattering too. As I get older, I find that I'm confident enough in myself, that I know no one will ever be me - so it doesn't bother me anymore. Just like no one will ever be you, whomever may be reading this.

But then there's the whole other side of it. When someone is so obsessed with you they begin to try and copy parts of your look, your personality, and all the little things you experience and enjoy. It's particularly concerning when it's a total stranger - that only gets this information of me from my social media and they don't actually know what me in real life is like (I guess I've got to be grateful for that). Things like: making out they're going on away on a trip, coincidentally just after I get back from a holiday. Apparently making a blog, not too long after I started blogging again myself. (Like sorry - where did that come from? Oh yeah, me - my bad). Mentioning particular things after I have, or using words that I say and use a lot.  Oh does the list go on - these are only recent.

I should be flattered really though, if I'm interesting enough for someone to want to be like me. Though it is frustrating sometimes, because I believe everyone should try and be the best version of themselves they possibly can - and own it. Plus, I feel like it's ending up at the point where, whatever they do - they'll have got it from me. And whatever I do, I can't be surprised anymore if they do something similar. 

But then, the irony starts. When they convince themselves that you are in fact, the one copying them. And try to accuse you of doing things, that they are in fact doing to you. Playing the victim and genuinely believing it, when they're the villain. Again, this is a whole other story - but we'll stick to the point.

This is one of the consequences of the internet, kids. So I've started to realise I should be more aware of the things I put out there. Though, I will also mention - the person in question (and some of their friends) are actually blocked on multiple social media sites. Some of my friends have checked on them, every once in a while - for various reasons (though mostly due to them previously writing unnecessary nasty things towards me. Another thing we won't go into). But, they still find their ways to see my stuff. I've got to applaud their effort, really. 

What is Projection?

Projection is an unconscious self defence mechanism characterised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues onto someone or something else as a form of delusion and denial. It's a way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else. Due to the sorrowful nature of delusion and denial it is very difficult for the target to be able to clarify the reality of the situation. A way to transfer guilt for your own thoughts, emotions and actions onto another as a way of not admitting your guilt to yourself.

The person in question has, probably unknowingly, been projecting their own issues onto me, and convincing themselves that it's me with their problems. Convincing themselves that I am in fact doing, this, that and the other. When in reality, I'm not. I'm actually dealing with them doing these things towards me and them being oblivious to it. This is probably why they were writing petty, horrible things aimed at me that I briefly mentioned above but won't go further into. 

I know they don't realise it - and won't admit it to themselves, because they'd rather believe someone else is the villain than face their own issues themselves. I know that if they were aware of what they were doing - they wouldn't be doing it. Probably. I mean I'm sure they're aware of some things they've been doing - as some things are just never really asked for. Ever. But I guess I've got to try and make sense to myself why it's still happening, y'know?

But at least, I am aware of exactly what they're doing even if they're oblivious to it, and unfortunately I have to just let them get on with it - hoping one day they eventually stop. I can fall asleep at night knowing I am completely 100% myself, while they try to figure out who and what they want to be. And hopefully it begins by starting to stop comparing themselves to others, and being nasty to others out of envy. Especially people they don't know. Especially me.

-x.o, B.E.J